Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
My cat gives me a boner
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
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