Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
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I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
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When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize