I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
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