it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
Randomize
