happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
Maybe he injected his testicle?
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
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