So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
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