Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Randomize
