it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
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