Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
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