I intend to get homeless drunk
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
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