Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
Randomize
