He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
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I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
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i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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