How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
Randomize