why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
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At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
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Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
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