Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
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