i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
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i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
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We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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