So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
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