2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
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