chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Randomize
