I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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