Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
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