guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
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