and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
21 Of The Most Impressive Things Ever Seen In Porn
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
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Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.