You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
These 25 People Are Obsessed With Pizza
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
16 Sexual Experiences EVERYONE Should Have At Least Once
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.