Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
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we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
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When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress