Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
