last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Randomize
