Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
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