OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Randomize