My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
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