This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize