you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
Soap is not a condiment
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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