The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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