Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
Randomize
