Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Randomize
