i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.