It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
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We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
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You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY