mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
Randomize