I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
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