oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
