Texts From Last Night

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  (713): View more from Texas

  just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.

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  (713): just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american. http://tfl.nu/yild
  Replies (53) Good night (4608) Bad night (1255)
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  (319): View more from Iowa

  In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.

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  (319): In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums. http://tfl.nu/weac
  Replies (36) Good night (7035) Bad night (733)
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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.

  (1-610): View more from Pennsylvania

  who'd you have sex with.

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  (610): terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions. (1-610): who'd you have sex with. http://tfl.nu/97tl
  Replies (12) Good night (2311) Bad night (4249)
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  (920): View more from Wisconsin

  he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up

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  (920): he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up http://tfl.nu/v5zl
  Replies (23) Good night (8094) Bad night (1186)
• Favorite

  (224): View more from Illinois

  someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.

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  (224): someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming. http://tfl.nu/chjo
  Replies (5) Good night (3350) Bad night (923)
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  (216): View more from Ohio

  It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote

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  (216): It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote http://tfl.nu/ew61
  Replies (4) Good night (1537) Bad night (1141)
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  (913): View more from Kansas

  Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.

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  (913): Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move. http://tfl.nu/e9ea
  Replies (6) Good night (4829) Bad night (953)
• Favorite

  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss

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  (412): Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss http://tfl.nu/99ou
  Replies (11) Good night (2124) Bad night (1260)
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  (619): View more from California

  I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.

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  (619): I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner. http://tfl.nu/1na9
  Replies (8) Good night (2242) Bad night (930)
• Favorite

  (914): View more from New York

  He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.

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  (914): He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared. http://tfl.nu/k0z7
  Replies (11) Good night (2072) Bad night (552)
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  (626): View more from California

  Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy

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  (626): Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy http://tfl.nu/8u1j
  Replies (2) Good night (695) Bad night (1682)
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  (806): View more from Texas

  I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.

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  (806): I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots. http://tfl.nu/ai8j
  Replies (0) Good night (296) Bad night (555)
• Favorite

  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'

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  (508): oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future' http://tfl.nu/w2au
  Replies (8) Good night (648) Bad night (322)
• Favorite

  (916): View more from California

  Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.

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  (916): Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is. http://tfl.nu/njx1
  Replies (2) Good night (831) Bad night (234)
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  (770): View more from Georgia

  Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me

  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  Lord god protect this child

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  (770): Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me (603): Lord god protect this child http://tfl.nu/t9s3
  Replies (3) Good night (615) Bad night (269)

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