Texts From Last Night

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  (818): View more from California

  i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body

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  (818): i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body http://tfl.nu/r8xl
  Replies (4) Good night (1176) Bad night (785)
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  (860): View more from Connecticut

  What did we do last night that was yellow?

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  (860): What did we do last night that was yellow? http://tfl.nu/a1qq
  Replies (4) Good night (1242) Bad night (2059)
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  (630): View more from Illinois

  Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face

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  (630): Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face http://tfl.nu/tdg0
  Replies (28) Good night (3173) Bad night (1138)
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  (901): View more from Tennessee

  Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.

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  (901): Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks. http://tfl.nu/cmzt
  Replies (21) Good night (865) Bad night (4706)
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  (352): View more from Florida

  I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last

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  (352): I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last http://tfl.nu/oknv
  Replies (34) Good night (1564) Bad night (5551)
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  (301): View more from Maryland

  Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night

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  (301): Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night http://tfl.nu/wbgo
  Replies (15) Good night (4499) Bad night (674)
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  (443): View more from Maryland

  he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it

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  (443): he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it http://tfl.nu/sa3y
  Replies (52) Good night (1525) Bad night (6343)
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  (631): View more from New York

  even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away

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  (631): even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away http://tfl.nu/ld5s
  Replies (14) Good night (3009) Bad night (1036)
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  (402): View more from Nebraska

  You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.

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  (402): You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes. http://tfl.nu/0q3l
  Replies (18) Good night (6904) Bad night (1167)
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  (817): View more from Texas

  My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.

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  (817): My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give. http://tfl.nu/lewe
  Replies (11) Good night (4345) Bad night (958)
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  (+61): View more from Australia

  He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds

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  (+61): He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds http://tfl.nu/yob4
  Replies (8) Good night (1348) Bad night (2604)
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  (772): View more from Florida

  A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.

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  (772): A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm. http://tfl.nu/ew0u
  Replies (3) Good night (1086) Bad night (1527)
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  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?

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  (603): Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision? http://tfl.nu/bsbp
  Replies (7) Good night (1541) Bad night (751)
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  (415): View more from California

  Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.

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  (415): Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it. http://tfl.nu/rry5
  Replies (5) Good night (713) Bad night (422)
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  (515): View more from Iowa

  Thanks for the bagel and the sex.

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  (515): Thanks for the bagel and the sex. http://tfl.nu/6r05
  Replies (3) Good night (455) Bad night (121)

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