And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
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