Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
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