if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize