This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
Randomize