I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
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