Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
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