I am in a vortex of obligation.
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize