god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
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