bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Randomize
