If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize