I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize
