So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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