When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
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Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
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All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
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